The Day I Became a Tamil Again
by N.Chelvakumar
Why did I have to become a Tamil again? Don't get me wrong, I was always a Tamil. I was born a Tamil. My family, as far as I can trace back, was Tamil. But I never consciously thought about it till it was thrust upon me. When I was just a little kid I was a Ceylonese. Then they said that I was a Sri Lankan. That I didn't mind, as Ceylon was a name that was crafted by our colonial masters, so why not another make-believe moniker. It just didn't matter. I was a citizen of the world.
The era of ‘The world is a village' caught my imagination, we all lived in an interdependent global village, working towards a glorious culmination, a dream of becoming one entity. But all dreams had to come to an end. 'How are you doing?' and 'I am doing great!' days did not ring true anymore.
One morning the whole facade erupted into an inferno. I was stopped by a murderous mob of rioters in the middle of a street. 'Are you a Tamil?' they screamed. 'No, I am a not' I pled in panic. It let me continue living, but created an inner crisis that I couldn't resolve. So I fled, I came to Canada.
Slowly I gave up my attachment to Sri Lanka and assumed all things Canadian. This dream of taking up a new identity was soon shattered. 'Where are you from?' I was being constantly asked. 'Sri Lanka' seemed to satisfy most. 'Are you a Tamil?' was the question I now faced from the enlightened. But that too changed. 'A Tamil Tiger?' was the new universal incantation, chanted to produce the expected result - a denial, a retreat.
What am I? Am I a Canadian, a Sri Lankan or a Tamil? Where I was a Sri Lankan I became an outcaste, where I thought I was a Canadian I was considered a Tamil Tiger. Being concerned about the plight of the Tamils in Sri Lanka had become a crime.
As I watch the news and see all those innocent people being maimed and killed they remind me of the neighbourhood I grew up in, the school I attended, the faces of my childhood. Fathers who should be going to work, mothers who should preparing their children for the future and kids who should be skipping their way through school were being slaughtered instead.
In the eyes of the myopic nation of democracies the separation between the Tamils and the Tigers seem to be fast disappearing. 'Its all your fault, you deserve what you are getting' is the mantra of the appeasers. We, the Tamils, have become a forgotten entity on the map of international political pussyfooting. Anti- 'terrorism' has become a catchall word for anything goes. The basic tenets of humanity has been suspended. The community of nations is sleeping. The echoes of ‘peace for our time’ reverberate again through the halls of transnational diplomacy.
So reluctantly, but by necessity, I have become a Tamil again. I need an identity that is irrefutable. A place from where I can make a stand, make my voice heard. The physical diaspora of the Tamils is spritually merging together in anger, frustration and desperation. But is it too late? Will history weep and wail about a holocaust that could have been prevented. Would we have created a nation of people that will never forget. A people who will say 'never again!' The day I become a Tamil has arrived, its today.
16 Comments
are you saying that LTTE was right in the arm struggle to kill innocent people, state your view on that, to see where you belong?
Well written and highly relevant at this time. It is time all the Tamils wake up. Good on you
Well written but leaves some unanswered questions. It is true that expatriate Tamils are seen as Tigers, but with good reason.
If expatriate Palestinians protest against Israel for the bombing of Gaza carrying banners to say 'Khaled Meshaal' is our leader and 'Hamas' is our sole representative; or if the Shiites protest against Israel's war on Hezbollah with banners saying that 'Hassan Nasrallah' is our leader and Hezbollah is our sole representative, what will you think? let alone the international community?
The Canadians don't ask you if you are a Tiger based on their imaginations or prejudices, they are asking based on what your fellow expatriates have been claiming in their demonstrations.
It is unfortunate for us to join together at this time. However, the plights of Tamils have brought us together. Tamils in Sri Lanka will always be treated as second (or third) class citizens. There is no way the majority Sinhalese will accept the Tamils as their own citizens. We, Tamils, need a nation to proudly say that "We are from Tamizh Eelam". If we all work hard and together, we can tear down the face of this Sinhala state terror government. All those betrayers (“Eddappar group”) who are now with the government, shouldn’t forget that if the LTTE is to be eliminated, you will become garbage for the Sinhalese government and Sinhalese people. You will get killed on the road as a runaway DOG....
It's sad that so many people have to suffer. The quicker we end this war and get back to being united as one country the better. It's true that the Govt has messed up on a lot of things but you have to agree that until the LTTE lays down arms the suffering on both sides will not end. The tigers are doing what any desperate group will do in a final attempt to save themselves by hiding behind civilians.
Wonderful, Mahesh.
You demand an answer for your question. So, you wouldn't mind answering a question.
Are you saying that the elected government is right in their 'fight against terrorists' to kill innocent people in dozens and hurt in hundreded every day? Have you seen the pictures of the people in Vanni, the injured and the killed? Some people think the Sri Lankan state is a terrorist group irrespective of their label (electeted government) and the others think the state has a legitimate right ti kill its people (others should not interfere). State your view on this, to see where you belong?
Well said. The number of innocent Tamil people killed by the various SL governments can never be exceeded by the LTTE or other Tamil movements totalled up!
We have suffered untold and miserable treatment, which resulted in the formation of the LTTE and other groups.
Good one. Same fealing vast majority tamil will have about sri lanka.
D Siddharthan, son of a famous Tamil nationalist MP, founder of the Tiger branch in London and leader of PLOT, has gone on the record saying that the LTTE has killed far more Tamils, especially Tamil militants/activists, than has the Sri Lankan state. What do you guys have to say? Have you guys also read the article under the penname Skanda, described as founder of the PLOT radio, in the special issue of HIMAL? Or the interview given by the once renowned LTTE fighter Raghavan, to Ahilan Kadirgamar? You cheered or made excuses when the tigers murdered Rajini Tiranagama, A Amirthalingam, Rajiv Gandhi, Kethesh Loganathan and Neelan Tiruchelvam, but just think of how international opinion would have been today if they had been in the field?
Hi, Chelva!
Greetings! You have said a lot of things I wanted to say for a long time, except that I’m living in Sri Lanka. I never cared for division or ethnicity. I’m married to a Sinhalese who is an ardent Catholic, while I remain a Hindu. My children took to Hinduism by their own choice assisted by my loving wife in every way (more than I do) and they speak Sinhala, Tamil and English equally well. All my married children are married to Sinhalese Buddhists partners and we are a very cohesive family even today.
Alas! The present administration resorts so many gimmicks, I’m beginning to wonder whether I have made a mistake in my life, allowing all these things to happen as alleged by my parents!! I’m beginning to think like an extremist and my wife tells me this has nothing to do with ethnicity, but an organization like Mafia. I tend to agree with it, because I have to live with her for the rest of my life!
Only the other day I read a letter to the Editor in the ‘LAKBIMA nEWS’ on National Anthem that should not be allowed to be sung in Tamil since it is a transgression of the Sinhala Language!
In the old days, when I was schooling, we were asked to sing this Anthem in Tamil which we understood and accepted. If this is about to be forced down our throats in Sinhala, the meaning of which the children cannot understand, you are surely not creating an atmosphere of ethnic affinity or respect for the country you are living in!!
N.Chelvakumar
you said it well. we all become tamil today.
thank you
Rathi
Mr Chelvakumar, Chapeau! it's a very timely article that you've written. I agree with every single word of what you're saying.
Now, the Tamil society tends to be a deeply divided one. It is divided on lines of caste and wealth distribution and so on. The majority of those who left before things got worse were the rich ones, or those affluent, fairly well-connected high caste folks. Just the other day, a chat with a Sri Lankan Tamil postgraduate student left me surprised...hailing from Jaffna, he says that one is not so much affected by the tense security situation when one comes from a particular social level and background...
What he said strongly suggests one thing. It is always those at the bottom, those who have nothing but the love they share among each other (parents, children,couples, siblings) who are being kept forcefully in so-called 'welfare centres', prevented from mobility due to suspicion of involvement with the Tigers, and most deplorably, being sexually abused.
As a Sinhalese and a Buddhist, I am extremely cynical about the way the entire blame is put on the LTTE. Yes it is an organisation that has committed a large number of acts of violence. Yes they practice a zero tolerance policy for Tamils with contrary ideas to theirs. But what was it that created the LTTE in the first place? What made Tamil youth take up arms? What were the opportunists in power doing while the north was burning in discontent (in post-48 Ceylon and post-72 Sri Lanka)? What did Colombo think? That the Tamils will be happy enough to sit their feet up and see their rights being drastically curtailed? Tamils are a hard-working, focused and ambitious people, and when university entrance possibilities of the youth of such a people are cut down just because they are ethnic Tamil, what do you expect? Eulogies for Sinhala governments?
What about the poor, the deprived, often low caste masses in northern and eastern Sri Lanka? Earlier, they suffered at the hands of the ever so proud high caste Tamils. Come the 70s they had to suffer increasing ethnic discrimination, making being Tamil a barrier...Now they are suffering in namesake welfare centres. Children loose parents, parents loose children, siblings loose siblings, litte children are terminally disablled and women sexually abused, often gang raped...Bravo Sri Lanka after 61 years of Indepdendence!
Some will say that obviously, casualties occur during wartime. Yes they do. The LTTE's list of violent atrocities is very helpful in making the point. Let's pause a second. Was the LTTE not founded by a man from a very modest background? Arn't most LTTE cadres from deprived segments of Tamil society? Is it not difficult to infer that they are fighting under the LTTE banner because they've had enough and they want their fair share of the cake and the right to consume it in dignity? Looking at their perspective, what can they do with those Tamils, many of them from well-to-do backgrounds, who sit next to Sinhala leaders in Colombo for petty personal political and material gain? Some of them may genuinely believe in their standpoints, and can even be highly qualified individuals. It would have been much more magnanimous of the LTTE if they allowed conflicting opinions to be heard and developed. Unfortunately, have they been left with a mindset that encourages such magnanimity? When you know very well that you have nothing, that all doors are closed for you, and that you will always be catatlogued as a 'Tamil', i.e. dangerous youth, what do you expect them to do? To love folks like the late Hon. Kadirgamar?
My final point is that the LTTE is the creation of Sinhala rulers and their ruthless opportunist politics and utterly narrow-minded policy decisions. Even after all the devastation and billions spent on an issue only a consistent political solution can resolve, it is the very same ruling class, with the very same ideology in a more hardline form, that regins over Colombo. They may succeed in eliminating the LTTE, those whom they call the worst of terrorists on earth (in that case, ironically, they are the very creators of the worst terrorists on earth). But the struggle of ordinary Tamils for equal status, increased opportunities and self-determination will not end, as long as Colombo is unwlling to take a more 'inclusive' path.
I agree with this guy. Tamils in Canada are neither canadians nor srialnkans.
The day I feel strongly sinhalese is not decided by the number of sinhalese killed in tamil tiger attacks.
The same way one should not be a tamil again on the basis of how many tamils fall victims in the fight against tamil tigers, because
A question arises such as,
Would a tamil still be willing to call himself a tamil again, when he realises how many tamils were killed by the tamil tigers to justify the cause of establishing eelam.
I am more than happy to say I am canadian, regardless of the questions of my origin, because in a world getting smaller by day, I do not crave to see a country that belongs to sinhalese,
unfortunately for the tamils it is not quite so, they would die for a country that is called a tamilland.
Well well, we seem to have Mr. Dayan Jayatilleka among the readership.
May I ask Mr, Jayatilleka, on behalf od 100s of Tamil people with the bleedings haerts, to state his position on the heartless killings of the Sri Lankan armed forces everyday? I heard him speaking in a meeting in 1983, organised by Pereadeniya Tamil Association, in which father Caspers (sp?) from Kandy and Mr. Visvananthathevan (NLFT) also spoke. He engaged in a heated argument with some JVP members, lead by my Ranjithan Gunaratnam (brother of Kumar Aiya). I don't see the same DJ since he joined Perumal's government.
Dayan
I can not agree more with you that LTTE excesses and killing so many intellects is a lost for minorities. Will you agree that SL excesses, killings, inaction for justice for killings and complicity for crimes against tamils ran long before LTTE excesses. Do you agree, what is happening now is a revival of post 1983, many fold and it is uniting all the tamils against Government, and this time SL has to reckon with very influential diaspora.
Tamils feel strongly about killing Rajiv and more importantly 13 other innocent bystanders on our soil and so we should excuse them and allow them. First learn to be a human being than you can be a tamil or whatever. I thought Tamil was a language. But, it never looked like tamils were the oppressed. They are always more of aggressors than opressed. What opression makes Vaiko make such unpatriotic and unforgivable statements like creating blood shed in India if India pursues Prabhakaran for proven crimes comitted on her soil. For that, Vaiko should be hanged along with Prabhakaran.