The late W Dahanayake, who made Galle famous with his grass roots politics and debating skills, once admitted that part of his skill in oratory was gained by listening to the best of conjurers of the word under the Pacha Gaha. (Tree of Lies).

Colombo and other towns are not without their own equivalents of the Pacha Gaha, often on a much smaller scale, but they do succeed in keeping many spell-bound, and often missing their work, listening to the sales pitching of people with cures and solutions for anything from the common headache to migraine, broken marriages, the promise of fortune in the immediate future, healing of broken marriages or love affairs, to erectile dysfunction in males. Many a salesman from leading marketing companies feel ashamed at the skill of the sales wizards of the kerb, who are masters in a craft that remains strong in every large bus stand in the country.

Of late the Pacha Gaha has spread its branches wider. The current Presidential Election campaign is showing great promise and commensurate skill in the pacha gaha tradition, especially among those who believe in spreading rumour, as a Jehovah’s Witness would in spreading what is in the Book of Revelation. The new masters of the Pacha Gaha are being spawned on Opposition political platforms and at TV and radio talk shows to do with the election campaign of the retired General Sarath Fonseka.

As the campaign of the Opposition and Sarath Fonseka in his swan lake gets moving, it is clear that the theme of it all is that Rumour is the Thing. Truth is kept a great distance away, and the lie and rumour is given top billing in this campaign where mud-slinging has taken on a new dimension of political necessity, for those who are desperate to make their mark in the people’s memory; at least till January 26, when they mark their ballots in the secrecy of the voting cubicle.

The rumours afloat are aplenty, and they are all about Mahinda Rajapaksa and his near, dear, close and even extended family. Apparently there is no wealth in this country that has not been bought up or is being coveted by those of the Rajapaksa political clan that Phoney-Fonnie, has promised to drive out of politics in Sri Lanka, along with the Executive Presidency, which he covets.

Victor Ivan, one of this country’s senior and perceptive journalists, has written an important piece in the Ravaya last Sunday (December 27) where he exposes the corruption of many, and argues well that corruption should be proven with facts and not peddled through rumour. But Sarath Fonseka’s Salvation Army is in no mood to take such advice. It is more likely they would say that Victor Ivan, being a journalistic asset of great value, has also been bought up by the Rajapaksa clan, or is in the grip of the anaconda as Ranil Wickremesinghe would say, forgetting all the corruption the UNP was responsible for in the 17 years under JRJ and Premadasa, and three years when he was prime minister, executive or not.

All of these rumors that are afloat, and being added to each day and night, which includes Rajapaksa ownership of apple orchards Down Under, which I recall to be of actual UNP vintage in Mahaweli Days, and from where we have yet to get a single apple, made me talk to some real Pacha Gaha specialists on what more the Rajapaksa’s could have bought or must be eyeing, to judge from what has been said so far.

Many a speaker on the swan platforms have said the Rajapaksas have such an avarice for tall buildings that they have bought up all of them that are of any value. When we checked up about this with the owners of the World Trade Centre that appears to be the only tall building left without the touch of the Rajapaksa’s, they were worried at this lapse. They have now called on their engineering consultants in Singapore to clarify whether there are any flaws in construction in the WTC that has put it of the scent of the building hunters for the Rajapaksas.

Another great story doing the rounds is that one of the younger Rajapaksas has bought an entire shopping mall in New York. Many who tell he story are not sure about which part of Manhattan this mall is located. There are some who say it is at Wall Street, where they believe buildings could be bought cheap, due to the Stock Market collapse. But this goes against the general theme that the Rajapaksas don’t buy things that are cheap but only the most costly and the best. But, I am told that this story of the Rajapaksa Mall in New York is giving both hope and the jitters to real estate dealers in Mumbai, as to which shopping mall there will catch the roving eye of Rajapaksa mall hunter proxies over there.

A really good one for the Swan Lake chorus of Rumour is about flight plans of the Rajapaksas. Many have more that whispered that an order has already been placed for a Boeing 787 – The Dreamliner – that had its recent test flight, as the future aircraft of the Rajapaksa family. This is of course in addition to the Airbus 380, which many swear is already parked in the backyard of the Rajapaksa Maligawa at Medamulana. There are also stories being churned out by the General Rumour Machine, that Barack Obama is having nightmares, in addition to his worries about Afghanistan and al Qaeda bombers on transatlantic flights, that his own personal aircraft Air Force One, is likely to be the next target of Mahinda Rajapaksa to be his own personal aircraft.

After recent news of the world’s largest cruise liner "Oasis of the Seas" owned by Royal Caribbean International has overcome key obstacles, there has been much interest in the vessel that can carry more than 5,500 passengers, and has all he luxuries that up-market tourists long for. The rumour masters at Swan Lake have now leaked out the story that that the Rajapaksas have decided to order the first delivery of this dream in cruise travel for their own personal travel. They say it will be the first vessel to be berthed at the new Hambantota Port, which will no doubt give the port a greater status as a cruise caller, but who cares. It is the rumour that matters. They also say that not satisfied with the usual stopovers of cruise lines, the Rajapaksas have bought a separate Caribbean island, where the Oasis of the Sea will be moored when they are on holiday.

The way that local political rumour is being spun these days, Bill Gates must also be having cause for fear, with tale mongers of the Swan Lake, trying to persuade listeners that Microsoft Corp is the next target of the Rajapaksas, who they say are known for their acquisitive skill. They try to bring some credibility to this big tale of the cyber age with the spice that Gotabaya Rajapaksa has a great interest in computers and IT, what with his having a degree in it too, and was big a Systems Manager in the US. So, watch out Bill Gates, it seems the Rajapaksas of Sri Lanka have you and Microsoft in their focus and it will certainly be worse than any fine the EU has imposed on Microsoft for not sharing software or search engines.

One guy on the Funny-Fonnie rumour mill was seen trying to convince some investors at a leading hotel that they had better not place much hope in getting a good return from investing in the Mittal Steel of India, because as they saw it, the Rajapaksas of Sri Lanka, will soon be the owners of this huge producer of steel, worldwide.

We could not get Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian tycoon who commands the steel market in most of the world, to comment on this, because the rumour had reached him too. We were told he was trying to see how New Delhi can be persuaded to stop the Rajapaksas from making a hostile bid for Mittal Steel.

Also doing the spin for Fonseka’s Salvation Army that is trapped in the Swan Lake, is the story that the Rajapaksa Family has expressed an interest in Neverland – the famous and luxurious property of the late Michael Jackson, which is now said to be for sale. This will be heard more often on the political stages of the swan very soon, with one of the three Rajapaksa son’s said to be having a special interest in it.

But the story that interested me most was what had a Mangala touch about the spin. It was that the actual reason for Tiger Woods crashing his car onto a hydrant and a single tree was not because of any marital infidelity on his part, but because he had heard that the Rajapaksas in their supposedly insatiable desire for wealth, which no one in the UNP has ever had or displayed, were making a grab for his property in Florida and several others states in the US. Sure that’s enough to drive even the best golfer in the world round the bend and off the green. So you see how far rumour can go to hit the headlines.

But coming from the other side is the story that the price of coconut oil will soar to impossible heights if Phoney-Fonnie gets even a toehold on the Executive Presidency, because every husband will start pouring bottles of it on the heads of their wives, the moment a wick of a coconut oil lamp gets blown off in a temple, kovil or any other shrine. They will be following the example of their leader, who is said to believe that a bottle of coconut oil on the wife’s head is one way of making the gods look at you more than once.

But jokes apart, I am told that Lever Bros is showing much worry about this, because it would mean our women once again, even through compulsion, getting used to coconut oil in plenty on their heads, putting all those shampoos and hair care products off the shelves.

So watch out; the Pacha Gaha has spread its branches far and wide, it hovers over every political platform of the Swan Lake and the new Salvation Army. In fact, the Salvation Army is now having rumour as its most trusted weapon. So let’s keep watching the Charge of the Rumour Brigade.